How to Trust Your Mother’s Intuition During Pregnancy

Hi and welcome back to the Postpartum Prep Podcast. Today we're going to be talking about what it means to make an informed choice versus an intentional choice. If you're currently pregnant, you might have heard the phrase informed choice before. It's a very, very important idea, especially when it comes to birth and babies and postpartum and parenting. It means that you have the right to make choices for yourself. And you have the right to receive unbiased, evidence-based information about your options to help you make that choice. And you deserve to make whatever choice feels right for you. And the concept of informed choice is becoming more and more popular. It's becoming way more integrated into health care systems than it used to be.And that's because this didn't used to be a thing. Women were often not allowed to make choices about their own health care. And women often were either misled or coerced or just not given the right information at all.Or information was withheld from them. And a lot of really essential and life-changing advocacy came about, which helped to change these systems. And we're very lucky today that this is a more well-understood concept.Because even though it seems so obvious, it really took actually a lot of advocacy to get us to this point today. Where it is obvious that women should have the right to make choices for themselves. And that they should have the right to have information that actually helps them understand their options based on evidence and is unbiased.But the truth is, it's still not standard in many health care systems. There's a big reason why doulas do the work that they do, which is helping to make sure that moms know that they have the right to speak up about their own health care. And doulas also help moms to know what all their options are.And doulas help you to understand, is what your doctor is telling you based on evidence? And doulas are also really good at knowing when information is being filtered or decisions are being rushed. Or noticing when it might be assumed that you've given consent for something that you actually haven't consented to. Doulas are great at having this awareness of, is this mom truly being supported in making an informed choice right now? Is she being heard? Is she being given the time and the respect that she deserves? And what I want you to know is, you absolutely deserve to make choices for yourself. You deserve to have the right to make choices for yourself. And you deserve to have all the information that you need. And it's always okay for you to speak up for yourself.And it's always okay to ask for the information that you need or to seek extra support in sorting through the information. Whether it's about your birth or your baby or breastfeeding or sleep, whatever it is, you deserve to be making informed choices. And I've started this episode talking about the importance of informed choice because I really just want to acknowledge how important it is.And I want to make sure we're all on the same page that informed choice truly is essential. And I have immense, immense gratitude to all the people who worked so hard to get us to the point where, even if it's not always respected, it's still a foundational understanding that, yes, women do deserve to be given unbiased, evidence-based information. And that they should very obviously have the right to speak up for themselves, to be heard, and to make choices for themselves. That is all so, so important. But I actually believe we can go so much deeper when it comes to making truly empowered decisions as new moms. Informed choice on its own focuses on your right to have unbiased, evidence-based information and your right to make a choice for yourself.But there's a space in between. There's that place where we're actually in the decision-making process. We might have gathered our options and we might understand what our options are, but how do we actually know what to choose? And there's a process of reflection here that actually can take a little bit of skill in navigating. And when we actually sit in this place of reflection and when we actually go through this process of making a really intentional choice, it actually becomes really a space of transformation. This process of making a decision can really be a process of inner growth, especially for us as new moms. Because it's a place of reflection that asks you to consider what does feel true to you and what does it mean to you to be making this choice.And when we really bring awareness to this decision-making process, it can help you really develop deeper trust in yourself as a new mom. It can help you expand your consciousness as a mom. And it can help you come deeper into alignment with the kind of mother you want to be.Because it's not just about the choice you make, it's about the place you're making that choice from. It's about making a decision from your mother's intuition, which we just had the previous two podcast episodes to this one are all about mother's intuition. So I encourage you to check those out.But in those two episodes, I talk about how when we make choices that are truly rooted in alignment with our mother's intuition, our baby benefits so much. Because your mother's intuition is the place where you are deeply grounded, where you are deeply connected to yourself and your baby and deeply attuned. Which means you're really tuned in to how your baby is feeling and how you are feeling.And this is just my opinion, so take what resonates. But my opinion is, when we make decisions that are truly grounded in our mother's intuition, where we feel really connected to that intuitive, instinctual, tuned in place, we're going to be making the best decisions for our baby that we possibly can. The problem is, so many of us, especially as women, are raised in a way that disconnects us from our intuition.We're taught that we just need to be good girls and listen to our parents and listen to our teachers and just do what they say and don't listen to our bodies and don't listen to our inner knowing. And it just creates this cycle of self-doubt and second-guessing ourselves and it can really break down your confidence and your connection with your intuition. So today I'm going to be walking you through, step by step, the process of making decisions from this truly grounded place, from this truly intuitive place, from this place of inner knowing, from this place of connection with your mother's intuition, so that we can make decisions that are both informed and deeply intentional.And I've actually also created a free step-by-step guide that you can download. So you have the steps all laid out there that you can go back to, and in this guide I've included additional prompts and reflection questions to help you go deeper into this process. But my true hope for this episode and for the guide is to really just help you approach pregnancy and birth and postpartum and early motherhood from this place of clarity and confidence because you'll know how to tune in to your inner wisdom and you'll know that it's okay to trust yourself.Because your intuition as a mother, I really believe it is absolutely vital that we do listen to our mother's intuition because that is, it's, you can listen to the previous episodes where I've talked about this, but truly is such a remarkable, you know, scientific connection that you have with your baby in so many ways. Where you just have, without even trying, you'll just have this awareness of what your baby needs. And yes, it is something, you know, I work with a lot of moms who do say, I just feel like maybe I don't even have mother's intuition.Or, you know, they just feel so disconnected from it. And that's because, like I said, it's not something we're taught how to do. And it does become something that we really might need to practice.And that's why I've created this step-by-step guide so that if you want to make intentional choices, you have a hand to hold to walk you through the process. And what I really encourage you, especially if you're currently pregnant, I really encourage you to consider this part of your postpartum prep. To try practicing this intentional decision making.Whether it's what you're going to eat for breakfast that morning or maybe something deeper like making decisions about your birth. Just in any small ways or big ways that you can practice it. That you can practice making intentional choices rooted in your intuition.I really believe it helps to prepare you more for actually the realities of motherhood and mothering and caring for a baby. And, you know, I have a toddler now. And absolutely, this just continues to be part of motherhood. This need to tap into your inner knowing as a mom. And yes, of course, we're talking right now about making choices from this place of inner knowing. But it's also a state of real, like we talked about before, about being in this place of attunement. Of really being tuned into your baby and tuned into yourself. That kind of presence is not just helpful for making decisions. It's helpful for just living and being with your baby.And it's not just helpful for you, but it's really good for your baby for you as a mom to be tuned in in that way. And like I said, this is absolutely not something you have to already have perfected before you've even given birth or had the chance to practice it. And it's not even something you have to have perfect once your baby's arrived because babies are very resilient.And more importantly, it's our commitment to relating to our baby in this way and to relating to our children in this way. In this way that is grounded and attuned and present. And just that's all they need. It's okay if you make mistakes. It's about returning to this place and trying again and trying again and trying again until we do figure it out. It's that process in itself that matters. It's just showing up and showing up from this place of inner alignment and presence. And that's why I believe that learning how to tune into your mother's intuition is such an essential part of postpartum prep because it will carry you not just through birth, not just through postpartum, but all the way through motherhood. So I'll give you the big picture steps right here on the podcast.And if you do want to go deeper with the reflection prompts and the questions, then you can download the guide for free, but I'll walk you through it in this episode and then you can go download the guide so you can start using it to practice making intentional choices in your everyday life. So step one is deciding to choose intentionally. This is about pausing before you actually go into the decision making process. It's about bringing awareness to the fact that you are making a choice right now and bringing some intention to how you want to make that decision. I think this is slightly meta because what we're really doing here is we're making an intentional choice to be intentional about the way that we're choosing. I hope you follow along with me there, but if you don't, it's okay, because in the guide, I include some prompts that help you to really set your intentions for this process and just anchor into how you want to show up through this decision making process. So step two of your intentional decision making process will be gathering your options. So this is what we really talked about at the beginning of the episode. It's about understanding what is the evidence here? What are the pros and cons? It's also about gaining an understanding of the wider context.What are the societal messages around this? What are the expectations of my family and my friends and doctors or whoever, social media? And how is that also impacting the way I see my options? And you can think about the pros and the cons of your options, but also consider how do these external pressures influence the way I see these options and how do these external pressures shape what options I even have or what options I believe I have? And this step can often benefit from having some support. You might want to do your own research, or you might also want to talk with your friends and family to understand their perspectives, even if that's just to gain a better understanding of how their perspectives are influencing your thoughts and feelings. And it can also be really helpful to talk with a doula here, especially if you're thinking about birth.Birth doulas are such a wealth of knowledge and personally I help with what comes after birth. So things like breastfeeding or sleep and mental health. That's the kind of things that I would help with in a mother-baby wellbeing consultation.And of course you can talk to people like healthcare professionals or other kinds of professionals as well. But whoever you talk to, remember that their perspective is going to be part of the equation. So it's about hearing the information and it's also about understanding where their perspective is coming from and the wider context of the information.And this also applies if you're getting your own information from books or from places online. Consider what is the perspective of the person who's writing this. Why are they writing this? So gathering your options and understanding the wider context behind them, that's step two.Step three. Now this is where we talk about tuning in to your inner compass. And this is really the heart of intentional choice because this is the place where now we're getting to how do we actually tune in to our mother's intuition.And it's often a process of simply noticing and just becoming more aware. It can be about noticing how your body and energy and emotions respond to the options you've already gathered. And really tuning into that body wisdom.And I talked about this in my last episode. I'm going to say it again, that tuning into your mother's intuition can often be a process of just tuning into the wisdom of your body. Because your mother's intuition is not just this abstract concept. It is truly embodied and it's about knowing how to tune in. How does this option feel? Like literally how does it feel in my body? What do I feel when considering these options? Where do I feel alignment? Where do I feel tension? Where do I feel openness? Where do I feel like I'm being drawn towards this option? Where do I feel like I'm closing off? It can often be feelings in your chest. We talk about a gut feeling. You can feel it in your belly often. You can even notice it in your breath. How does my breath respond to this option? If this all sounds completely abstract to you, then part of your postpartum prep process might be practicing mindfulness.And my intentional choice guide really calls you into this mindfulness. The reflection prompts are really there to help you with this process of becoming mindful and noticing and building your awareness of your inner knowing. So to recap the steps we've gone through so far, we've got step one, you make the decision to choose with intention.Step two is gathering your options. Step three is tuning into your inner compass. And now we come to step four, which is actually making your choice.And this can be actually where a lot of people do get stuck. There's a point where we just have to trust in ourselves as mothers that we can make this choice and that we have made this choice with the best of our ability. There's a shift from being in this decision making process to letting go slightly.And sometimes this can feel a little bit scary, especially if we're making choices that the people around us might not agree with, or that what we're reading online doesn't seem to be aligned with. But that's why it's important to tune into your own inner sense of alignment. And what I've learned personally through my own motherhood journey, and what I know many other mothers have learned as well, is that it can be a practice of making decisions from this place of inner alignment and building your self-trust through practice.And building your confidence in your inner knowing through practice, through practicing using your mother's intuition to help guide you. Like I said before, it's why I recommend you start this process during pregnancy so that you already have experience building that inner confidence, building that self-trust. But it's also not something that you necessarily need to feel completely isolated in.There's always people you can turn to who absolutely will uplift you in listening to your mother's intuition. Sometimes that might be our partner, or our friends, or our family. And sometimes it's not.And that can be really hard when it's not. Like I mentioned before, doulas are really great at helping you to build confidence and self-trust in your inner wisdom. And sometimes it's about finding community among other mothers.And if you can find that in person, that's absolutely amazing. Even having one or two other mothers in person who you can turn to, who you know understand where you're coming from, can really help you to just feel so seen and validated. But if you can't find that community in person, looking online can also be a way of building that sense of community.Personally, one of the things that has been just so unexpected about running my business online where I talk a lot about nurturing our babies with connection and presence and compassion is the way I've been connected with mothers all over the world who mother in this intentional nurturing way that I value as a mom. And it's given me so much more confidence in mothering the way that I do, especially when the way that I do is often different from how people typically parent where I live. Definitely be sure that you're following along on Instagram if you are looking for this kind of community.But in general, that's also why building your community during pregnancy is such an important part of postpartum prep. Because babies really can be kind of confusing and it can be really helpful to have like-minded mothers who you can turn to for real mom-to-mom support. Because there's nothing like having a mom in the same stage as you to turn to when you just need some reassurance or some validation or some really practical tips. Now we've gone through the four steps of making an intentional choice, but there's actually a fifth step as well. And that is reflecting on your journey of making this choice. Like I said in the beginning, process of making an intentional choice is not just about the choice that you're making. It's about who you're becoming through the process of making this choice. Because there is so much opportunity for our growth as mothers that comes from this process of making a choice where we're truly tapped into our inner wisdom and truly connected to our self-trust. And truly aware of all the different influences shaping our decision-making. So step five is really about reflecting on how transformational the process of intentional decision-making truly can be. So in the guide, I offer reflection questions to help you integrate what you've learned about yourself, about your baby, about your community, about life itself. Whatever you've learned through the process of making this decision.And by integrating this decision-making process, you'll be able to carry forward the growth and transformation you've experienced. So those are the five steps of intentional choice. Deciding to choose intentionally.Gathering your options. Tuning in to your inner compass. Making your choice.And reflecting on your journey. I offer you these steps today not just as a checklist of things to tick off, but to help you really build that deeper trust in yourself as a new mom. If you'd like the full guide with the reflection prompts I mentioned, you can grab it for free at motherbabywellbeing.com.guide But I'll also link it in the show notes so it will be super easy for you to just click on there.Thank you so much for listening today. Before we end today, I just want to remind you that you always have the right to make informed choices. And you also have the power to make intentional choices.And that's where the real transformation begins. But know this. It's not about transforming you as a person. It's about transforming your level of awareness. So that you can see how all the answers you need are already inside of you. And you're already everything your baby needs you to be just as you are. I'll see you in the next episode!